


Sure on the Shining Night

by JusttMee123



Category: Psych (TV 2006)
Genre: F/M, Family Feels, I think I gave myself a cavity while writing this, Jules and her son, Please remember to brush and floss after reading, a quiet night, but really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-08
Updated: 2020-06-08
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:27:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24613021
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JusttMee123/pseuds/JusttMee123
Summary: It’s funny, she thinks. Everyone always tells you that everything changes the moment you become a parent. They talk about a love you’ve never felt before, and how unprepared you feel. She thought she understood. But no one ever told her that those words were meaningless in the face of your child.
Relationships: Juliet O'Hara & Original Child Character(s), Juliet O'Hara/Shawn Spencer
Comments: 2
Kudos: 14





	Sure on the Shining Night

**Author's Note:**

> Originally, I wrote this under a different pen name for a different fandom. But after rereading and editing I realized how well it actually fit for this one as well, so I figured I would post it here.

It’s dark out, too dark to even see out the window. Most reasonable people have long since gone to sleep. Shawn certainly is, and Juliet’s sure nothing short of a bomb exploding inside their house would wake him. Normally she would be asleep, too. But she was needed elsewhere.

It’s funny, she thinks. Everyone always tells you that everything changes the moment you become a parent. They talk about a love you’ve never felt before, and how unprepared you are. They say that you know, in an instant, that you would do anything, even kill, for your kid. She thought she understood. She thought she was ready. But no one ever told her that those words were meaningless in the face of your child.

She still remembers the fear that gripped her when she found out she was going to have a baby. She and Shawn hadn’t really talked about kids. Or at least, not seriously. When asked, she always said she already had a child- Shawn. And on the rare occasions Shawn was actually being serious, he always told her he was afraid of screwing up any kids they had. Neither of them were really ready. And finding out they had a baby on the way with only a few months to get ready was enough to send her spiraling into a panic attack.

Not to mention the fact that her anxiety only increased as her pregnancy went on. Knowing that she was growing an entire life inside of her was weird enough as it was. But feeling a baby- her son- moving around inside her, stirring up something that resembled maternal instinct, was something else. Add in the fact that her life was on the line each time she went into work, and you had the perfect storm.

Her son squirms in her arms, and she adjusts her grip on him. She can tell from the way he’s blinking that he’s only a few minutes away from sleep, but that he’s fighting it as hard as he can. The gentle motion of the rocking chair usually soothes him within minutes. Tonight, though, she’s been sitting with him for almost half an hour. All the experts and the books say that she shouldn’t be doing exactly what she’s doing now. And she knows he’s going to have to learn how to self-soothe eventually. But he’s only a few weeks old, and she thinks it’s more important for him to know that his mother is there.

In a few weeks her maternity leave will be over and she’ll go back to work full time. She knows their son will be safe with Shawn during the day. But she doesn’t know if she’ll be ready to be apart from him. She doesn’t know how she’ll be able to strap a gun to her hip and put a badge around her neck every morning, and leave knowing that there was every possibility she wouldn’t come home in the evening.

She has so much more to lose, now.

He stares sleepily up at her, and she lets her finger drift between his eyes and down his nose. His blue eyes flutter shut for only a second before they open again and he’s staring at her once more. She smiles. She loves her son’s eyes. She knows all babies are born with blue eyes, and his aren’t quite the same color as her own, which suggests they’ll eventually change to a color that’s closer to Shawn's. She really hopes they don’t, though. 

Her finger traces the length of his nose again. She starts humming a vague melody, nothing familiar, but at the sound of her voice her son settles a bit more and nuzzles his face into her chest. His eyes finally close and don’t immediately reopen.

She does have so much more to lose. Her baby, her child, her son, her little boy with those beautiful eyes. He means everything to her. And she will do everything in her power to keep him safe.

She has lived an exciting life. She has stared down the barrel of countless guns, both as the one being threatened and the one doing the threatening. She has been kidnapped. She has chased after criminals until she couldn’t breathe. She has seen the absolute worst of humanity.

But these moments, the quiet ones in the middle of the night, the ones with the family she’s built?

These are the moments she feels most alive.


End file.
